**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
