He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
