But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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