he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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