hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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