I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
