Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
