found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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