it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
