this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize