just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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