wat bout pragnant strippers??
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
