waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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