god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
