so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
