Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
