Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
