hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
