VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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