laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
