i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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