i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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