But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
