I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize