I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
