D3 body, D1 cock
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize