I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
