Moan for me like Helen Keller
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
