I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Randomize
