Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
only you would photoshop your dick
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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