I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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