Moan for me like Helen Keller
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize