hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
