do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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