and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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