Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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