Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
