get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
