Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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