one two three fourrrrnication!
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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