when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
