I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
