and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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