I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
