wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
