Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I am naked and annoyed.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize