You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
