i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
