ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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