just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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