this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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