three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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