he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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