There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
