anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
