so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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