Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
