It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
