i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
