this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
